Writing a Book About Asexuality Taught Me to Look for a Fate Beyond Numbers
I learned to reevaluate the meaning of ‘normal’ in relationships, and also my habit of reflexively turning to data.
How I Learned to Tell Signal from Noise and Appreciate Calm
It can be easy to confuse real emotion with the shiny drama enfolding it. Sometimes grand gestures are signs of grand feeling—sometimes they’re not.
On Being Young, Scrappy, and (Sometimes) Satisfied
Remain forever hungry, or enjoy the tried-and-true? Sometimes, I learned, it’s okay to double down on the life you have.
How We Create Personal Myths, and Why They Matter
My parental separation was vastly less traumatic than what is happening to children at the border. But this narrative lives inside me.
How I Learned to Reconcile the Distance Between Experience and Memory
As my mother loses the ability to remember, I find myself playing with my own memory.
The Downside of Radical Honesty
The problem with radical honesty is that we are not transparent to ourselves—we are always biased, and so is the feedback we provide.
Is Your Streak About to End? The False Belief That Can Drive Both Gambling and Anxiety
Many of us subconsciously believe there is only so much good allotted to us—so, when something good happens, watch out.
The Beauty Myth: What Keeps Us From Seeing Ourselves Clearly?
“What I look like” is not a static picture cut out and placed in different environments, but one that changes again and again.
No Best Friend, But Better Off
Friendship is not about going down a list with some people always first, others second and third. Every friendship is unique.
Can Desire or Love Be Predicted?
Data versus the real world: what compatibility algorithms can’t tell you.