I had tried to show the world that I was resilient, never fallible, but my unwillingness to deal with my sadness and anger was hurting me and my daughter.
Like with any immigrant story, this style of cooking is all about telling the story of a family through its subtle gestures, quirks, and out-of-place ingredients.
What I can do for now is to give back in ways that may seem extraneous, but bring delight to the recipient. So, I make frozen desserts.
Do other people ascribe “luck” to objects? I wondered. Wouldn’t it be far better to finally use this kitchen appliance and truly love it?
Breadmaking made me feel purposeful, instead of feeling as if I scarcely had control over anything.