She sings and speaks in lewd riddles, mourning her father’s untimely death and her abandonment by Hamlet, her lover.
Though I couldn’t articulate it at the time, I somehow knew that both relief and release were no longer optional. They were necessities.
I recall a 2016 headline that warned, ‘Orangutans face complete extinction within ten years.’ Nash will be thirteen in 2026.
I posed the question to her, earnestly, seriously: If given the choice, would she rather gain weight or would she rather die?
Obtaining a perfect grasp of masculinity was not my goal when I decided to transition, but I certainly did feel the pressure to try.
I do not believe in a soul but these past six months of illness, I am guilty of dislocating, of clinging to magic. Of wanting relief. Of being sick of being sick.
What I forgot, for years and years, were the details of what my body experienced at the time. But my body did not forget.
I learned that kind of hard-won glamour; that we should have beauty, however much the world wants to keep it from us.
I don’t recognize the future version of me the doctor describes. To remain myself, I must prove him wrong.
My relationship with food was a combination of deep love, reverence, and guilt—making it impossible for me to give it up.