People | Believers

Finding My Place in Ritual and Love as a Queer Mennonite

With this person, I wondered, could I be my full self—queer, spiritual, and religious?

It was November of 2016. The waxing nights seemed to mirror the gulf widening between us.

With this person, I wondered, could I be my full self—queer, spiritual, and religious? 

On our second date, we sat on a patch of grass and talked for hours. “I don’t agree with everything in conservative religion,” she’d said. “But I do think there is something to not jumping in bed with someone right away.”

Jesus at Shabbat? What was I thinking? 

Will this happen to me, too?

you

Stay quiet. Look at the carpet.

One night, I found myself reading the story of Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, and Jacob from the Jewish, Christian, and Muslim perspectives. I saw that all the stories were similar, but had one main difference—each tradition claimed they were the true chosen people of God. I thought about all the wars fought partly over this idea of chosen-ness, the violence still inflicted to this day.

This is heaven! I am sure it’s okay to go over there. I’m here all alone. Maybe I can join her group

I choose to be chosen and I choose to be loved