How To | Growing Faith

Please Don’t Pray for Us—We’ll Have Children When We’re Ready!

People I hardly knew implied that without children, I was failing as a woman, a Muslim, and a human being.

This is Growing Faith, a column about parenting and faith coauthored by Saadia Faruqi and Shoshana Kordova.

“Are you practicing family planning? Those pills make it really hard to get pregnant even when you stop taking them.”
“You should lose weight. It will be easier to get pregnant.”
“You shouldn’t stress. Stress causes hormones that make it difficult to get pregnant.”
“Have you ever tried herbal remedies? Homoeopathy? Acupuncture?”
“We are praying for you, dear.”
“I am so worried about you. I pray that Allah gives you lots of babies.”
“What’s the matter with you? Did you try going to a doctor?”