People | Bodies

Writing Motherhood Taught Me About My Emotional and Psychic Inheritance

I felt abandoned and alone. I was told that it was at odds with what mothers should feel, do feel, after childbirth.

I light a fire in your mouth
and whisper:
burn me.


And there we all were in the maternity ward at Park Lane Clinic, sobbing on day three.

Mommy! Mommy!Goosebumps


As if there was a vacuum in her middle, something missing in her core.Gillian is a Miracle Wonder: Gillian Maclear, 2lb, 1oz at birth, sleeps contentedly in the arms of her mother, Mrs Valerie Maclear, when they left a Johannesburg nursing home yesterday. Gillian, who now weighs 5lb, 1oz, was born prematurely seven weeks ago.


And what of your baby

This isn’t him

Milk Fever,


She’d wake up Grampa Keith and tell him something terrible was on its way.


Paris Review

Bro, it was fucking terrifying. I was in the house, her mom’s house, and I knew something was terribly wrong. I looked around me: saw bookcases, plants; but I knew something was off, you know, I just knew.

I looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. And the thing fucking stopped.And something evil filled the room.And then I was being held up by my throat in the corner of the room. And I knew, I knew. It’s not the house, bro, it’s her.

corpse Milk Fever

Where will all my nothing go?

Where will all my nothing go?