People | Other Selves

How to Live Without Ecstasy Every Day

On chasing ecstasy, finding tenderness, creating art, and experiencing motherhood.

As I write this, I am pregnant for the second time. The baby kicks me while I write, seeming eager to transcend his bounds, which are me. I learned from my first pregnancy that gravity endangered my ankles, so I write with my feet up on the desk, straddling the computer, reaching for it between my legs, giving a kind of birth to the written product.

To take in all the wonder in the world, all








I love you too, mama Mama, it’s so glad to see you!


and I’ve learned how to live without ecstasy
every day. But the tenderness,
oh, yes, the tenderness. I have that now
and the poetry is still calling and the trees
where I walk and hear your clear, light voice.
Tu lu lilla söt snut. I think about how you would be now, had you chosen
to live your life.

it’s so glad to see you.