Fiction

The Cameraman

The Cameraman: So this new actress we’re meeting today is she good? The Director: She’s alright. The Cameraman: She’s alright? She better be. You’re only here for a couple of weeks. You hired this actress. My camera wants to eat her up. I want to see what she looks like on the box.  The Director: […]

The Cameraman: So this new actress we’re meeting today is she good?

The Director: She’s alright.

The Cameraman: She’s alright? She better be. You’re only here for a couple of weeks. You hired this actress. My camera wants to eat her up. I want to see what she looks like on the box. 

The Director: She’ll meet us there soon. She’s coming from the hotel. No, she’s really good, actually.

The Cameraman: Is she going to be late or what?

The Director: She better not be. I think she’s already on her way. I think she’s already there.

The Cameraman: Let’s go see.

The Director: It’s her, it’s her.

The Cameraman: You sure?

The Director: I hope so. If not, who cares.

The Cameraman: Is she ready?

The Director: This is my cameraman, Josef.

The Cameraman: How are you?

The Actress: Nice to meet you.

The Cameraman: Where are you from?

The Actress: London, England.

The Cameraman: You are? Are you sure?

The Actress: Yes. Do I look like I’m from London, England? 

The Cameraman: Not really. You look like you’re from Florida. Turn around. Let me see this outfit.

The Actress: Do you like it?

The Cameraman: It’s cute. How long have you known this character?

The Actress: Two days.

The Director: Yeah, two days.

The Cameraman: What was that? Show me your teeth.

The Actress: You want me to?

The Cameraman: Let me see those teeth.

The Actress: You like them?

The Cameraman: They’re very nice.

The Director: So we’re going to get in the car. Josef’s car. And we’re just going to film you for a little bit. 

The Cameraman: You are small so it’s going to make my car look big. That’s what we are going for in this scene. We want a distancing effect, right?

The Director: Uh, yeah. Right.

The Cameraman: I’d actually like to shoot you right now if you wouldn’t mind?

The Actress: Right now? In the street?

The Cameraman: My car’s over there. 

The Actress: So you want me to walk over to your car?

The Cameraman: Let’s try it.

The Actress: Which car is yours?

The Cameraman: The blue one. Right over there, Across the street.

The Actress: He tells I look really good when I’m walking.

The Cameraman: He tells me that too.

The Actress: So I’m not special. 

The Cameraman: When did you start acting?

The Actress: When I was about twelve.

The Cameraman: Don’t hide your face. I can’t see your face.

The Cameraman: Look at you, eating your lunch. What’s the matter, you can’t talk when your mouth is full?

The Actress: I can try.

The Cameraman: Where is she from?

The Director: Who cares.

The Cameraman: We are getting on the freeway. Watch out. We almost got in an accident. I think she liked it.

The Director: Oh shit. 

The Cameraman: So where did we find this one?

The Director: On the street.

The Cameraman: Where did you meet her though? You didn’t just meet him two days ago?

The Actress: I did. And now he’s introducing me to everyone as his leading lady. 

The Camera: So you were telling me a story. You like to drink your own tears.

The Actress: I do. Mine taste good, too.

The Cameraman: It does. Does it ever taste bad.

The Actress: Sometimes. I’m thinking it’s a diet thing. I eat healthy. My tears taste good. 

The Cameraman: So I want to watch you eat.

The Actress: Right now?

The Cameraman: Yeah, since we’re off the freeway. Eat that sandwich. 

The Director: Unless you’d rather get back in the car. 

The Cameraman: I’m glad you’re in town.

The Director: Yeah. 

The Cameraman: Look at me when you’re eating that sandwich. There you go. 

The Cameraman: Not bad for someone from London, England.

The Director: Oh that looks so nice. The lighting is great.

The Actress: I sound so stupid.

The Director: I don’t care. You look so good right now.

The Cameraman: Yeah, the lighting is nice, isn’t it?

The Cameraman: Now she’s getting into it.

The Actress: Huh?

The Actress: The angle is weird.

The Cameraman: Then stand up. Stand up.

The Cameraman: She’s got very nice bone structure.

The Director: She does.

The Director: Do you want to do something with your hair?

The Actress: What?

The Director: Do you want to do something with your hair?

The Cameraman: Put your hands down. Put them down. There you go.

The Director: Get in close. Closer.

The Cameraman: Show me your tears. Look up. Look at the lens. Hands down. Look up, look up.

The Cameraman: Help me.

The Director: There you go.

The Cameraman: That’s teamwork. There’s no I in team.

The Director: She’s so good. 

The Director: Cut.

The Cameraman: No, no, no. You got it let it play out. 

The Cameraman: Straighten your arm. Just like that. That’s good. Straighten your arm. Drop your elbow. Are you getting ready to say cut?

The Director: Yes. We got what we want. 

The Cameraman: Let’s start again. 

The Cameraman: Get back in the car. Sit in the back.

The Actress: That take felt great. 

The Cameraman: Do it the way you did it the first time. Get out of the car. Two feet at a time. Don’t do it one foot at a time. That doesn’t look right. It looks better when you get out with both feet at the same time. 

The Director: Let her do it.

The Cameraman: Help her.

The Director: She’s working so hard.

The Cameraman: Lean down. Both hands off your chest. 

The Director: Cut.

The Actress: Ew. That was gross. I didn’t like that.

The Cameraman: You want to stop?

The Director: I don’t know. 

The Cameraman: Let’s keep going.

The Director: We can stop. You can stop.

The Cameraman: You think we’re close?

The Director: Pretty close. 

The Actress: This is so hard.

The Cameraman: Help her.

The Director: This is too much.

The Cameraman: Two more minutes. That how long it takes to get used to something. 

The Director: Go slow.

The Cameraman: But don’t bring your hands up to your face. It doesn’t look good.  

The Director: I want you to drive the car.

The Actress: I’m not driving that car.

The Cameraman: Why not?

The Actress: Because. 

The Cameraman: You might like it.

The Actress: I don’t want to cause any damage.

The Cameraman: That’s what brakes are for. 

The Cameraman: Look down. Nice and slow. Back at the camera. 

The Cameraman: Somebody please pass me a spoon.

The Cameraman: Let me see you. Look over here. Look over here. 

The Cameraman: There’s a huge shadow in the shot.

The Actress: Let me do that one more time.

The Cameraman: Let’s move on.

The Director: She wants to do it one more time.

The Cameraman: Let’s move on.

The Actress: Huh?

The Cameraman: Are you done? Are you done? 

The Actress: Did I say I was?

The Cameraman: Are you done? Tell me.

The Actress: I didn’t say that.

The Cameraman: Come here. I want to talk to you.