Fiction
The Baby Carriage
“He wrote a letter about the baby carriage problem to the president.”
Endlessly Every Bitter Thing
“Rejoice,” he said. “It has been three weeks since the last confirmed natural death.”
Fireworks
The fiery crackles and the smattering splashes of carnival colors set against the backdrop of the starry night sky drew people from their homes in slow droves, as he knew it would. Family after family waded into their yards barefoot, lush summer grass tickling their toes as orgasmic smorgasbords of light and sound erupted above […]
With Arthur Rimbaud at the Chamber of Commerce
A little kiss, like a crazy spider, will run round your neck.
The Flood
Did you hear about Jake’s cabin? It flooded from that storm a few day’s ago. The foundation is probably destroyed. His cabin? Yep. It really flooded? I wasn’t sure if I was hearing him correctly. Yep. The cabin? Yep. Oh. I step outside with my cigarette, needing to smoke, trying to process the news. Jake’s […]
At a Crossroads
I can never be in a healthy relationship. For my mom to basically up and leave us when I was a kid, bumming around in my pajamas on Saturdays watching Nickelodeon and kicking the ball around with Tommy around the corner…that’s just like…I don’t know. It sucks. Luke takes a sip of his Guinness before […]
The Surinam Toad Tries Online Dating
A mostly biologically accurate record of what toads do online.
How to Be Pretty
You need to eat. From birth to adolescence, amass an obscene amount of weight. Let the fat sag from your arms; let it trail behind every movement. Mind your hips. Mind them! Maneuver them around school desks and through turnstiles. Develop a scowl that envelops you. Obey it more than your brain, your heart, your […]