What an awful song. I mean, this is really a bad song. There is nothing good about this song except that after three minutes and seven seconds it ends. That Leah, though? Is that Leah? Is that hot blonde slice of cream pie supposed to be Leah? That’s who Lonnie is singing to? What’s he […]

Sep 22, 2015
Conversations With Chloe

She dates a lot of different men. Personal trainers.  Bartenders. American ninjas. A biker now and then. Bikers are the best and the worst. They can command an entire room just by walking into it, but then they’ll hit people for no reason. Maybe they think they have to hit people for no reason. Or […]

Sep 20, 2015

I don’t know whether I should be insulted or not. I’m usually not very good at figuring these kinds of things out.

Sep 19, 2015
Metastatic Lesion

This man is one of the all-time great animal trainers. He should be in the hall of fame. Is there a hall of fame for animal trainers? Nope. Ugh. This doesn’t taste artificial. I don’t think it’s artificial. I think it’s real. Well that’s not good. Because it’s supposed to taste artificial. And that’s fine. […]

Sep 19, 2015
A Dedication, An Advertisement & A Complete Fabrication

A DEDICATION  This is for you. Thank you for everything you do for me and for the children. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean for you to find out. Please believe me. If I had known you were going to find out I never would have gone in the first place. […]

Sep 18, 2015
Holy Toledo

She was only fifteen years old when she moved to Paris. Let her tell the story?  I don’t think so. She’s not in right now. She’s out. She’s gone. Back to Toledo? I don’t think so. She’s not going back to Toledo. She’s not going anywhere. She moved to Paris when she was fifteen and […]

Sep 17, 2015
Pornographic Magic

Get this down. Right now. Before I have to get it down myself. Listen to me. All they had to do was ask me. At the very least. Tap me on the shoulder. Say hey, listen. That’s fine, I don’t mind. Don’t disagree with me on this. I could not hear them. I was listening […]

Sep 14, 2015