you can run but you can’t hide

This poem was written by Lana C. Marilyn in a 12-Month Poetry Collection Generator taught by Angel Nafis.

Poetry collection synopsis: Holes in the Water is a collection of poems that centers on the stories of haunted girls coming of age in the digital age. Ripe with references to social media, text messages, and memes, Holes in the Water unravels the memories and archives of girls who may or may not exist. The book reads like a tour through a funhouse of horrors once you start adding up all the ghosts.

*

after you close your eyes, the small thing, the little fortunes,
should now begin to emerge from hiding, in the pockets
of despair and shadows, where they lived: empty places,
the umbilicus of the lopped mouths of mannequins,
from which venom mistakes itself for medicine, and glistens in
diamond light. but blessings are a commodity
in the presence of ruin: soft graves
in the blood, and in the milk, and in the water,
till it runs clear.

ready or not, here i—
this is the longest game of hide and seek i have ever played.

where is it?

in the closet, maybe. with the skeletons and the shame.
do you know how many bones i had to fold to fit in.
do you know how many little girls i had to hold hostage to fit in.
little i, to a t.

who is it?

i’m not it—if i was it, i would’ve found myself by now,
but discovery the game forbids, because here a hungry mouth
is a greedy mouth, and a closed mouth is
a kingdom unyet conquered.

what is it?

a kaleidoscope of pleasure?
a chorus of understanding?
an oasis in my city of fears?

why is it?

the thing they want? the thing you want, too?
the heat in the belly? the sickness? the fire?
what are the early betrayals of its reign in the body
if not the dizziness, lapse of breath, the pauses
between the thunder and the light?

this is the longest game of hide and seek i have ever played:
ready
or
ready
or
ready
or—