“They are gathered around the Doritos. Of course they are.”
They are gathered around the Doritos. Of course they are. The friend who knows me best looks up and says, “We know you love your Doritos!”
It’s true, I love Doritos. I love Doritos® Cool Ranch® Flavored Tortilla Chips. I love Doritos® Dinamita® Chile Limón Flavored Rolled Tortilla Chips. I love Doritos® Dinamita® Fiery Habanero Flavored Rolled Tortilla Chips. I love Doritos® Flamas® Flavored Tortilla Chips. But I do not love the Nacho Cheese.
Several of the faces at this gathering wear an expectant expression that begins to sink as the seconds pass. I chew. I cough. I try to smile and feign shock. Their eyes die and the dead eyes say, “You know, he isn’t even grateful.” I admit there is something vulgar about inventing a character, a situation, a state of mind, and of course in my better moods that is what I love to do, but there is something far worse, something perfumed and corrupt, about presenting a friend with the wrong kind of snack.