Voice Out the Unvoiceable

This is a true story recounted by Aida , 25, a graduate, trying hard to make  ends meet ,also having her share of this worlds worries an as if that is not enough she had a cruel experience ,tortured psychologically and physically How to voice out such a horrible dirty experience was the expression on […]

This is a true story recounted by Aida , 25, a graduate,
trying hard to make  ends meet ,also
having her share of this worlds worries an as if that is not enough she had a
cruel experience ,tortured psychologically and physically

How to voice out such a horrible dirty experience was the
expression on Aida’s face, no matter how hard she tried to hide her feelings,
her coldness sold her out.

Me:  Aida what’s wrong with you?

Aida: oh, nothing I am ok.

Me: hmmmm , so what’s that wound
on your left hand?

Aida: I was harassed?

Me: How? What? How? Explain, what

Aida: Hmmmm ,its this guy ,I have
known for like 3 years now, for all this while he has been so innocuous in our
dealings, but recently ,he started exposing his feelings for me and all that
stuff of how he wants a second woman in his life and all.

Me: So, you mean he is married?

Aida: Well, yes he has a son and
wife which I know, so I didn’t take him all to serious, but the pressure he was
giving me was putting me off, I tried to deal with the issue diplomatically but
I couldn’t take the pressure anymore so I sent him a message telling him that I
couldn’t do whatever he is asking me to do, so I am deciding to keep my distant.
3 days later he came knocking at my gate at around 8pm, telling me how he was
sorry for his behavior and all, and I just nodded. He left, the following week he
calls me and demands to see me urgently, I fussed about not having time, then
on that fateful Thursday I decided to get him off my back, I was preparing to
go to town and run some errands, so I passed by his house and told him I had
just an hour to spare.

(Heavy sighs)

“so are you still holding on to
your decision as mentioned in the message” he asked, “yes, if  things don’t change in your mind” I said. We
sat in total silence. Minutes later he asked to come closer to him, I  refused, like a joke, he grasped me from the
waist and right into his bedroom ,powerless I could only scream and scream, I
could feel his hands all over my body, he started removing my top  and the wrapper around my waist. I was furious,
but not fast enough, in my head I was thinking that this couldn’t be happening
to me, I turned and twisted avoiding his touch but to no avail, I shouted STOP!
STOP! He replied “am not stopping”.

I raised my hand and slapped him
twice ,he became more furious and said” I am not stopping ,if you have strength
so do what you want ,but today am going to have sex with you” I was shocked
,alarmed even more terrified. I started crying, he said “your cries won’t
change anything, I will do what I feel like doing now whether you agree or not,
for that matter you had better co-operate with me for all to end well ,if you do
not co-operate things will end very badly”. “if you become pregnant I will
assume responsibility, but if you don’t co-operate it will end badly and I will
not claim responsibility for anything, if you try to abort you will die because
in my family abortion doesn’t work” this and much more unreasonable things he
said, I just laid there praying to God to save me, because he was out of common
sense and my reactions will worsen things, I was just begging him to have mercy
on me, but to no avail. Not knowing what else to do whilst he was kissing my body,
I started speaking in tongues and he said ‘OK, when you are done speaking in
tongues tell me so that I continue”, I started begging him again to let me go, that
I cant do this because am afraid, and also because am still a virgin, he
responded by “don’t worry just co-operate and it will end well”.

I asked him to let me go naked or
he should kill me, but as for this I cant .he became angrier, he took a cutlass
lying next to his bed and said “the only way I wont do it is if you kill me ,or
the other way round” I replied “please kill me, I prefer dying than enduring
this” he raised the cutlass to my throat for like 5 seconds and dropped it, I
was ready for it trust me because I felt that some spirit had come over him, so
I kept a cool attitude.  I tried escaping
from the sitting room ,he locked it up, I tried the backdoor, he caught up and
locked it ,this continued for an hour , then I told him I wanted to urinate, whilst
there In the bathroom, i was busy thinking of what to tell him so that he would
let me go. I started begging him to let me go again because I had to meet my
dad somewhere and that by now he would be worried, he didn’t resign for about
20 minutes, and then he said “dress up now before I change my mind”. Trembling
I dressed up, and sat down. That is how I got cut in the hand while struggling
for the door.

Me: oh my goodness, he is a
threat to society and how are you feeling now?

Aida:  hmmm I only thank God for saving me from  wickedness, it is still like a nightmare, with
this I feel for those women who once have been aggressed, or raped, it is a
terrible feeling, even though he sent me a message to ask for forgiveness, I
mean how could I ever explain this to someone? What I have learnt is that not
every well dressed, clean-shaved man out there is psychologically healthy. responsibility
oriented or even have their common sense working according to the sense meter.
I just thank God again, because if he had had his way, it would have changed
the course of my life. It shook me to the bones that I felt sick the following
week. But am still standing and fighting!!!!!

Aida confided in my pen and bytes
to encourage all women out there in Africa, Asia, and in the world, who suffer
physically or psychologically just because of their gender.

In an article published by Radio
France International ( RFI), over 700 millions of women are married before 18
years, due to poverty. Southern Asia, Sub-saharian Africa. In Mali, bride price
is even paid before the birth of the child.

In Bangladesh, the girl is
married to avoid rape; but they are not protected as such, because they are not
protected enough to assume the responsibility of a house mistress and wife, she
cant decide to have sex, she will be forced and abused by her husband. She is
exposed to all violence, sexual, physical and psychological.

They get pregnant quickly without
being ready. A girl that gives birth before 15 years is five times at risk of
dying while giving birth, than after 20 years.

Such barbarian act must be
discouraged in our society, morals have deserted our homes and streets, where
you see our brothers and fathers abusing without shame our ladies, they tap their
butts, Fundle their breasts ,all because they are incapable of controlling the
nature of being “sexually starved”.

Don’t stop fighting for your Right,
for your Dignity, for your Body, for your Freedom, and for your Choice.

©Grace Ouendo-2015